Monday, April 9, 2012

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!

I've seen enough infomercials (just like you) to know that if the world were in black and white, we'd all be fucked. Think about it-- At the beginning of every infomercial, a normal person is seen attempting a normal person task (cleaning red wine out of a shag carpet, making a smoothie, answering the phone while staying warm under a blanket), but in the world without color, everyone makes a mess,  chores can't get done, and your family will hate you.

However, there seems to be one task that will never get easier: SIT-UPS.

Seriously, every other infomercial tells you the newest way to get King Leonidas-style abs, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM shows poor people needlessly injuring their necks enduring the painful, grueling torture that is SITTING UP. Christopher Knight (you know, the middle-aged guy who played the middle Brady boy?) takes pity on you. That's a new level of pathetic. The sit-up is barely even an exercise. Sometimes it sucks, but doing them is a step away from having a black and white society, regardless of what 70's television stars tell you.

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